In a recent conversation I had with a friend, he reminded me of a presentation I did where I talked about the real why. The conversation inspired me to recap the idea in this blog.  Just what is the real why? Well I will eventually get to it, but before I do, I need to first explain the reality of problems. 

Everyone is faced with problems.  Problems at work. Problems in relationships. Financial problems. Health problems.  Problems in life.  Problems in society.  Problems in the world.  This is the nature of our existence.  Encountering problems!

We all have expectations, desires, and preferences and often the reality of things doesn’t match what we expect, desire or prefer,  that is when we perceive that there is a problem.  That is a what a problem actually is. 

A problem is when a particular reality does not match what you perceive or think it should be or when the reality of something does not match what you want it to be.  That is the most accurate definition of a problem.  A problem is when someone finds a particular reality undesirable.  Hence, a problem is simply incongruence between what is and what you think or desire to be.  That is all. 

 The cube on the left can be called “what is”.  The cube on the right is “what we think or desire it to be” (which is in our mind).  When we recognize the one on the left could or should become the one on the right, then we recognize there is a problem.  The recognition of the difference  between what is and what should be or what we desire to be is the definition of problem.

Now just like with this cube, the reality of things is not always in agreement with how we see it or how we want it to be.  And if you have noticed that fact, then you have recognized some problems. Maybe this is true of your career. Or your bank account. Or your relationship.  But guess what? Whatever the case may be, you have to get accustomed to problems.  You have to get the point where you embrace and accept all problems as the natural way to live.  You have to accept that you will encounter problems.  And I dare say you have to come to love problems.

“What! Love problems? Michael you must be crazy”.  I’m not crazy at all.  This is wisdom for you to use for ever and to pass down to your chidren and their childrens’ children.  Problems are not bad.  Problems are natural.  And if you don’t get use to them, then you are likely to be in a constant state of unhappiness as you keep encountering problems and avoiding problems or even worse, reacting emotionally or unwisely to problems and thus making them WORSE.

Problems are the bridge between what goes on in side your head (your perception) and the objective reality that you live in.  Problems can bring you out of your virtual reality inside your head and into the “real world”, if you don’t “bug out” because of the problem. 

Problems lead us to act if we are so inclined.  The people who feel capable or empowered to do something about their problems, they will inevitably take action to bring reality and the way they want things to be, in harmony with each other.  That is to say they will attempt to solve the problem.  I hope I am not going to fast on this subject as it is quite profound.  My only attempt here is to expose a few key ideas that you can work with. 

For example, on  a small scale a person who has a problem taking care of themselves materially could be said to have a financial problem.  Once they identify the problem, any attempt at solving it will move them from where they are to another point.  They may ask for help.  They may read a book. They may go back to school.  They may seek another job. Whatever they do to try to solve the problem is greater than doing nothing.  They are in progress toward solving the problem. There is now activity.  There is now improvement. They have progressed. 

Thus one could ask, “Would I have made progress without first perceiving there was a problem?”  The likely answer is no.  Problems, as I have defined them here as the incongruence between our perception or desire, and the actual reality, fuels progress.  And it is the attempt at solving problems which creates the dynamic experience of life and eventually re-creates the objective reality of which we are faced.  Learning comes from making an attempt at solving problems.  Now don’t go around making problems as a way to “help everyone”.  That makes you a problem maker, not problem solver.  Problems really don’t need your help.  They will find you and others.

So if you happen to have any problems, then Hallelujah! You have an opportunity to learn, grow, make progress and improve.  That is if you understand that they are there for you to evolve.  Because could there actually be a problem, if there was no conscious being there to consider it a problem?  There is no problem without a perceiver.  Therefore the problem is actually all about you, the perceiver.   

So when you encounter your next problem, and you most certainly will, the first thing you need to ask yourself is “What can I learn from this problem?”.  This will take you in the right direction and eventually into discovering the real Why.  So as I began the next blog is….. The Real Why.

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The idea of clarifying what is real from what is unreal is a new phenomenon.  There was a time when only what we might call real things, existed.  Nothing else seemed possible.  Real trees, real people, real books, real entertainment, real relationships, real work, real money, real friends, and even nature was real.  Now oddly we live in a time where people have to use expressions like ”real talk” and ”keeping it real”, because real appears to be a diminishing thing.  Foods like cheese are sometimes labeled “made with real cheese” so as not to be confused with being only real cheese.  Costume jewelry, reality tv, synthetic foods, implants…. nowadays things aren’t always what they appear to be. 

Listen, this is real talk. (As opposed to the usual talk) 

Most things in the  past tended to be real.  Now unfortunately many people, especially younger folks, are growing up with a skewed sense of reality and of real things.  Many people today have lives that are mostly made up of what would have been considered in the not so distant past, as artificial or fake things. 

Even more sad, people today appear unable to distinguish the artificial from the real.  They assume that everything is real because it exists in any form, not realizing that just because something is visible or exists doesn’t mean it is real.  What a tragedy.  I hope I am not confusing you.   So to minimize any confusion, let’s explore a few brief definitions.

Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines real as:

1.  of or relating to fixed, permanent, or immovable things (as lands or tenements)
2 a : not artificial, fraudulent, or illusory : genuine <real gold>; also : being precisely what the name implies <a real professional> b (1) : occurring or existing in actuality <saw a real live celebrity> <a story of real life> (2) : of or relating to practical or everyday concerns or activities <left school to live in the real world> (3) : existing as a physical entity and having properties that deviate from an ideal, law, or standard <a real gas> — compare ideal 3b c : having objective independent existence <unable to believe that what he saw was real> d : fundamental, essential e (1) : belonging to or having elements or components that belong to the set of real numbers <the real roots of an equation> <a real matrix> (2) : concerned with or containing real numbers <real analysis> (3) : real-valued <real variable> f : measured by purchasing power <real income> <real dollars> g : complete, utter <a real fiasco>
3 of a particle : capable of being detected — compare virtual 3

— for real 1 : in earnest : seriously <fighting for real>
2 : genuine <couldn’t believe the threats were for real>
3 : genuinely good or capable of success (as in competition) <not yet sure if this team is for real>

Unreal is defined as:

lacking in reality, substance, or genuineness : artificial, illusory; also : incredible, fantastic

Artificial is defined as:

1 : humanly contrived often on a natural model : man-made <an artificial limb> <artificial diamonds>
2 a : having existence in legal, economic, or political theory b : caused or produced by a human and especially social or political agency <an artificial price advantage> <artificial barriers of discrimination — R. C. Weaver>
3 obsolete : artful, cunning
4 a : lacking in natural or spontaneous quality <an artificial smile> <an artificial excitement> b : imitation, sham <artificial flavor>
5 : based on differential morphological characters not necessarily indicative of natural relationships <an artificial key for plant identification.

Much can be  learned from just these simple definitions.  How much of what is out here is, or is related to things that are ”fixed, permanent, and immovable“?  How much of what is observed is not illusory (deceptive or not real)?  How many things that we see and eat are actually artificial?  How often are things exactly “what the name implies”?  How much of what is eaten is “humanly contrived based on a natural model“?  How often do people encounter something or someone that lacks “in reality, substance, or genuineness”?  How much conversation and time is actually spent on things that are “of or related to practical concerns.”?  If dollars were measured by “purchasing power“, are they as real as they once were?  How much of what is believed “occured or exists in actuality“?  This shows us the reality of real today. (I couldn’t resist putting it that way, forgive me.)  The real is gradually fading as the unreal is blended in with it.  Pay attention.   It is happening right before our eyes.

So as you go about the next few days consider how much of what you say, do, hear, observe, believe, possess, eat, think, and feel is actually real.  Consider whether you even care, or prefer the real over the artificial.  And if you do prefer the real, then make an effort to build your life on and with people and things that are actually real and leave the artificial to those who are inclined as such.  

But in truth, the reality is, if you are on this blog and reading it, then it is likely that you prefer the real, because I am about as real as it gets.

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